I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
