Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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