You work out of a Hotel?
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
God, you're like boner-b-gone
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Randomize