whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
