are you so shy because you have an std?
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Let's paint friendship bongs
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize
