We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
