I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
