Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize
