with your own penis?
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
