He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
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