I want to make a zoo with you.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
i came on her dog
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
