I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
