mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
Randomize
