I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
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