I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
God I need to hump something, right now.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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