dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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