just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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