I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
