Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
you didnt know i had herpes?
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Randomize
