we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
