I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Randomize
