Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I will die if light touches me.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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