Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Randomize
