break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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