found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
