So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
