did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
