she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
My ass is underappreciated
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
