You're completely useless in the revolution.
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Randomize
