That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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