My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
