they need to just BURY HIM!
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Randomize
