Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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