addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
