We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
