Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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