i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
