I can tuck mytits in my pants
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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