Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
