Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
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