i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Randomize
