brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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