It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
