my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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