Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
did i walk over a car last night?
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
