did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
