my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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