i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Randomize
