Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
