I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
