my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
