do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
COCAINE IS GR8
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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