I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
this boner is exhausting
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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