you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Randomize
